Love

Sin is simply an ambitious adolescent pessimist.




Love is love. (its true.)

I have to admit, I've learned a lot about you guy via this thread. So far, everyone I've seen post has convinced me that they are a lonely male at the peak of their sexual maturity without a mate. ( Especially those of you who try to place love in with the simple need to reproduce ... ). This explains a lot lol.

Lol....I'm not lonely at all.

Anyways, Happy Valentines Day ! The artificial day of love.

Jay.J wrote:

Lol....I'm not lonely at all.

Of course you are not lonely, you have your bodies, Necrophiliac.

Quote :

Anyways, Happy Valentines Day ! The artificial day of love.

Lol, that's so true, but anyways, it's still a good day.

Happy Valentine's Day Everybody! And good luck to Pyth on his cruise, The Love Boat. XD

Nope. Sorry. It's not you...it's me.

Saw a commercial this morning. It said something along the lines of "This year, get your Valentine an actual good present. The Kama Sutra Package Deal! It comes with the ancient best-selling Kama Sutra for sensual pleasure enhancement using the masteries from India, sensual massage oils, chocolates to get you in the mood, and (blah blah blah, I don't remember the rest.)"


That's what love is in our modern world. A means to sell more shit.



But seriously, I'm not lonely as far as friends. I am however lonely relationship wise. Girls do not like me. At all. I'm not shy, it's just that girls don't like me. I am always open and honest, I speak my feelings and intentions from the start. I should probably learn to be a conniving bastard and actually get a girlfriend, but it just doesn't seem morally correct to me.

I've felt lust, and I think I've experienced love. They are both powerful (and opposite) emotions. But I think that's exactly what they are. Chemical emotions just like all the others to be used and mastered for your own purposes.

Hahahaha... ha.

Yeah, that might be something. Still, you don't have to be conniving to get a girlfriend, nor should you be. Seriously. Yeah, it's true, you will want to not let the crazy show on the first impression (because, let's face it, everyone's crazy to some extent or another), but that doesn't mean you need to hide who you are. There are differing levels of guile and deceit, you just need to be able to use the lesser ones and portray a confident, interesting version of yourself.

As for emotions being mastered... Yeah. You can sort of do that. My experience with martial arts has taught me that you can't always choose to have a knee jerk reaction of feeling in one way or the other; however, you can choose how you react to the emotion that presents itself in that moment.

I think there are two groups of people: those that believe we have complete control over emotions, and those that believe when you get emotional you have no control over yourself. Both fail. You don't have control over that momentary outpouring of emotion. Emotion is a biologically and evolutionarily reinforced process; you can't stop them at will or anything of the sort. What you can do, though, is to breathe a little so that you are able to control your *actions* afterward. You can't control your emotions. Your emotions can only influence your actions, but you control your actions.

Thoughts?

This has to do with love because love is an emotion... a strong and strange one, but an emotion nonetheless.

I don't have to portray a confident and interesting version of myself, I AM confident and interesting. That's what pisses me off about why I always get the no.


And I know you can't control your emotions fully, but you can control how you react to them. That's exactly what I think. And I meditate every night when I have a specific emotion I need to control, which does help. For instance, when I thought I was in love, I asked the girl out. (And got an interesting form of "no". The response was "I'm looking for someone I can settle down with right now, and your just not it.") Well after that, I still wanted to be friends with her, which was obviously a problem while being in love. So, I meditated every night and through intense inner pain overcame the emotion after about a month of meditation. So now we really are just friends.

Love is a stupid word. It's a great feeling...but it's too broad of a word.

You love your mom, and your dad and your cat. But for some reason those kinds of love haven't come up at all. Think about a women giving birth. That must freaking hurt, if any one else in the world put you through that kind of pain you would want to kill them, but the mothers love for her child and NOT wanting to kill her, yet quite the opposite. That's love.

I don't know what to think of Love in the form of a mate...Everything's commercialized and people have these conceptions of it just based on second hand experiences...Movies and TV in particular. Before you even go on a date, you have these pre-conceived notions of what a date is supposed to be.

Whatever, it's complicated shit. That's what it is.

Well, obviously. There are MANY types of love. English is stupid for only using one word for so many different things. Here are the Greek words and break-downs.


Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern-day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul."

Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body."

Philia (φιλία philía), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean "love of the mind."

Storge (στοργή storgē) is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.

Xenia (ξενία xenía), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his guest, who could previously have been strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology—in particular, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.

I don't really want to sound like a dick, but it's going to happen. You believe that you're interesting and confident. That's not necessarily what other people see.

Highschool, which is where I assume you are, is a very weird social environment. It is human social hierarchy to the extreme. Women, in that realm, are basically looking for someone who can elevate her status or at least not drop it. I honestly don't think that there is anything real about relationships (at least those that are on the surface level or deemed "interesting" or "important" to the social setting as a whole) in Highschool.

From what I can tell, you're paranoid. Possibly in need of some counseling (picture fiasco for evidence). You won't show yourself on-line (maybe because of the reasons you stated: people would take your picture and do weird stuff with it; you'd never get it back, etc). How you view other people is a very large indicator of how you view yourself. Not to mention that you said that you couldn't be trusted with any of our pictures... like... WTF? Seriously?

If that's how you act in real life, then no wonder you got the big N O from the girl. I don't feel like I can trust you, and this is the internet. How do you act in real life (especially if my assumption that a person's personality is way worse online than it is in real life)? I.e. people are good at detecting emotions and that sort of thing. Even more so in real life interactions because there is body language and tonality to read. Even more: girls are way better at naturally reading body language and other non-verbal signs (which can lead to over-analysis and all of that cliche mess). Anyhow, before I got sidetracked I was going to say that trust is a HUGE issue with girls when it comes to relationship mate choosing.

I don't have paranoia like you do about the internet, but you've made it abundantly clear that I should not trust you. This is the internet, people are usually less inhibited here. What I'm saying, in the end, is that a girl would be able to read your paranoid, somewhat skewed world-view if that is what you have (and all on-line evidence points to YES). Meditation is cool, thinking about things the way you do is cool, but if your view on life and women is jaded, then women will pick up on it. Maybe admit that it's not so bad? Maybe have a little faith in other people? Maybe try to apply that theory of Agape (and to a lesser extent Philia) to those around you, and not just the ones you want to bone.

Yeah. Sorry if I sound like I'm being an internet psychologist and I have a feeling you'll complain and try to shoot down everything I said with empassioned "nah-uh!'s" which is understandable. I'm giving you the "knee jerk" reaction that I have of you. Keeping in mind that I don't know you. Anyway, whatever. This train long ago left the station and I don't remember where it was headed.

Internet is =/= real life. And confidence is not something that can be misinterpreted. I am a very trustworthy person and I never lie in real life. The biggest faults people attribute to me usually are the occasional instance of me making someone else sound stupid. Who I am on the internet is how I choose to blow off steam. I'm also only paranoid on the internet. (For the very reason that everyone is uninhibited. There is no reason why anyone should trust anyone else here. There are no consequences. If I feel like being an asshole, there is no one to stop me.)

I don't want you to trust me and I don't trust you. This is the internet where there are no inhibitions and people can be anything they want and change from one minute to the next. It is not at all who I am or how I act. As evidence, you only know me as Dragonheart91. I have multiple other internet personas depending on the mood I am in. (E.G. When I feel like being an asshole I go by PicklesNFish, or when I feel like being logical and calm -Or sometimes annoying.- I go by Albus.)


So anyway, I don't care what you think of "me" because this isn't me. This is how I choose to portray myself in the current situation. In real life I try to be much more real. Yes sometimes I am a bit obnoxious, but I know far more obnoxious guys than me who have girlfriends. I think the problem lies in the fact that I want a real relationship with someone I can actually care about, and girls at this age don't. I expect that as myself and my peers mature I will be more successful with women later in life. (Oh, and also something about me screams gay. I swear I can instantly become friends with any girl and learn intimate details about her life, but when it comes to a relationship she finds it creepy or w/e. -An example was the other day when I walked up to two girls I didn't know and started talking to them. 5 minutes later I knew their bra sizes and colors, what guys they liked, how they were doing in school, and all kinds of other crap I didn't care about. But had I tried to ask them out, they would have walked away.-)



P.S. And just like that the thread becomes about me.

Yeah, trust may be the reason people look sideways @ me. I have an issue w/ that. Yeah I have no problem w/ posting a picture or someting, but deep emotions and things like that I have had a real problem with since an incident in October.

I have always been on the bottom of the Social Ladder, mainly because I don't conform, and am able to consider people I've never met in person as friends. Now, not in the same sence as my RL friends, but in a different way.

I also could be that I'm a bit crazy, I usually end up feeling like the 501st piece in a 500 piece puzzle, not really belonging. Its very possible that the 1st place I've ever felt a sense of belonging is a place no one can be, because it doesn't exsist in the real world...

Love is something everyone wants, but an decreasing number of people find. Its a mutual feeling greater than respect, greater than friendship, and greater than belonging. I'll admit I don't know for sure, cuz I've never felt it as a two-way feeling, just oneway, and that hurts, bad.

I suppose my only chance is to shed all the negative images of me when I get to college and try again, eh

Summary of this thread: We are all hopeless miserable people and love is a sore topic for us.

/agree

Warning: This is a really long post filled with personal information about me.

SinisteRing wrote:

Jay, will you be my valentine? If not... how about you, Zync?

Jay.J wrote:

Nope. Sorry. It's not you...it's me.

Yeah, he only goes out with dead bodies.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

Saw a commercial this morning. It said something along the lines of "This year, get your Valentine an actual good present. The Kama Sutra Package Deal! It comes with the ancient best-selling Kama Sutra for sensual pleasure enhancement using the masteries from India, sensual massage oils, chocolates to get you in the mood, and (blah blah blah, I don't remember the rest.)"

ROFL! That's an odd comercial.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

But seriously, I'm not lonely as far as friends. I am however lonely relationship wise. Girls do not like me. At all. I'm not shy, it's just that girls don't like me.

Of course, you are a gray blob.

AquaAscension wrote:

Yeah, that might be something. Still, you don't have to be conniving to get a girlfriend, nor should you be. Seriously. Yeah, it's true, you will want to not let the crazy show on the first impression (because, let's face it, everyone's crazy to some extent or another), but that doesn't mean you need to hide who you are. There are differing levels of guile and deceit, you just need to be able to use the lesser ones and portray a confident, interesting version of yourself.

Yeah, you are right about that, everyone is crazy.
Personally, I have OCD, Megalomania and also a constant fear that someone is just around the corner, or behind a curtain waiting to kill me (A thief or somene like that in most cases.), or even just a common thief who will end up stabbing me in the middle of a dark street, I don't have this fear ALL the time, but I have it on several ocassions.

I'm a false, deceiving person, and I end up putting myself first above everything else, except in 1 ocassion, love, I fall in love REALLY fast and easy, and I put that person above everything else, even me.

Don't worry about me being a false and deceiving person, I'm just like that when I want something, and since this is the internet, the only kind of reward I get is the psychological imprivement and the gain of knowledge, so I won't deceive you guys. I behave different with everybody I know, or some I wanna know, but here, on the internet, it's easier to show my real me, a deceiving, communist megalomaniac who lusts for power.

[quote=AquaAscension]As for emotions being mastered... Yeah. You can sort of do that. My experience with martial arts has taught me that you can't always choose to have a knee jerk reaction of feeling in one way or the other; however, you can choose how you react to the emotion that presents itself in that moment.[/quote]


True, I'm mostly a cold person, except when it comes to love, I can't hide it.

Quote :

I think there are two groups of people: those that believe we have complete control over emotions, and those that believe when you get emotional you have no control over yourself. Both fail. You don't have control over that momentary outpouring of emotion. Emotion is a biologically and evolutionarily reinforced process; you can't stop them at will or anything of the sort. What you can do, though, is to breathe a little so that you are able to control your *actions* afterward. You can't control your emotions. Your emotions can only influence your actions, but you control your actions.

So you are saying there are 3 groups of people, those 2, and the third, who thinks the other 2 fail.

AquaAscension wrote:

From what I can tell, you're paranoid. Possibly in need of some counseling (picture fiasco for evidence). You won't show yourself on-line (maybe because of the reasons you stated: people would take your picture and do weird stuff with it; you'd never get it back, etc).

Ohh yeah, I have the same problem about the picture thing, but the situation around it is even worse than that.

AquaAscension wrote:

Maybe have a little faith in other people? Maybe try to apply that theory of Agape (and to a lesser extent Philia) to those around you, and not just the ones you want to bone.

Yeah, even on the chatbox the other day he seemed to have that attitude, just caring about sex and not a real relationship with a girl.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

Internet is =/= real life. And confidence is not something that can be misinterpreted. I am a very trustworthy person and I never lie in real life.

Ohh well, as I already stated, I don't lie that much in real life, but I do deceive a lot, but I am more honest here, over the internet.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

The biggest faults people attribute to me usually are the occasional instance of me making someone else sound stupid.

Ohh yeah, I do that too, I always attack people's intelligence first.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

So anyway, I don't care what you think of "me" because this isn't me. This is how I choose to portray myself in the current situation. In real life I try to be much more real. Yes sometimes I am a bit obnoxious, but I know far more obnoxious guys than me who have girlfriends.

In my case it's the other way around, it isn't me in real life but it is me here.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

I think the problem lies in the fact that I want a real relationship with someone I can actually care about, and girls at this age don't. I expect that as myself and my peers mature I will be more successful with women later in life.

Ohh yeah, same thing, Im an old soul, and I tend to consider everyone else in real life to be lesser than me, except when it comes to the person I love, wich is the only person I can consider equal to me, the only exception being historical heroes, like Chingis Khan (Wich the french wrongly transtaled to Genghis Khan), Trotsky, Lenin, Marx, "Che Guevara", etc.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

(Oh, and also something about me screams gay. I swear I can instantly become friends with any girl and learn intimate details about her life, but when it comes to a relationship she finds it creepy or w/e. -An example was the other day when I walked up to two girls I didn't know and started talking to them. 5 minutes later I knew their bra sizes and colors, what guys they liked, how they were doing in school, and all kinds of other crap I didn't care about. But had I tried to ask them out, they would have walked away.-)

ROFL!!!

Lagger09 wrote:

I have always been on the bottom of the Social Ladder

Same, because at this moment in my life it doesn't matter, so I don't care about it.

Lagger09 wrote:

I also could be that I'm a bit crazy, I usually end up feeling like the 501st piece in a 500 piece puzzle, not really belonging. Its very possible that the 1st place I've ever felt a sense of belonging is a place no one can be, because it doesn't exsist in the real world...

Yeah, same here.

Lagger09 wrote:

I'll admit I don't know for sure, cuz I've never felt it as a two-way feeling, just oneway, and that hurts, bad.

Agreed, it hurts like hell.

Lagger09 wrote:

I suppose my only chance is to shed all the negative images of me when I get to college and try again, eh

Same here.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

Summary of this thread: We are all hopeless miserable people and love is a sore topic for us.

I just love the whole concept of love, so not really (Regarding the "Love is a sore topic for us" comment).

I've heard that people tend to fall in love with falling in love. They want the feeling of being in love rather than the person behind the feeling. Think of it this way: once you admit that another person is causing a feeling as strong as love, then you have to admit that the feeling can be taken away and that it is essentially out of your hands. Thus, people fall in love with the feeling because the feeling truly emanates from the self, not the other.

I don't think this thread is hopeless. I'd say it's unsure. We're all seeking (with the exception of Zync I'd say) some sort of sense of belonging. For most, that feeling is something we want to be derived from a member of the opposite sex.

I believe that love is absolutely possible. Just because I have not really found it yet does not mean that it will not be found.

Oh, and from what you say, Bal, I'd say you're a sociopath. You get what you can out of other people. Sociopath.

AquaAscension wrote:

Oh, and from what you say, Bal, I'd say you're a sociopath. You get what you can out of other people. Sociopath.

I already said so before, haven't I?

AquaAscension wrote:

I've heard that people tend to fall in love with falling in love. They want the feeling of being in love rather than the person behind the feeling.

Yes, it's very common.

Quote :

Summary of this thread: We are all hopeless miserable people and love is a sore topic for us.

I disagree...Your post shows hope. I'm not hopeless, I realistically just don't want a girlfriend at this point in my life because well....they're a hassle at this point in life. I realistically don't think I'd find anyone who's "The one" kind of shit right now...and well, like I've said before girls I do tend to like, like me as like a brother cause they know I'll still be around regardless of being in a relationship or not, where as girls I only see platonically love me because I just act like nice...and they have to "earn" my love in contrast. Regardless - I'm not hopeless, nor miserable nor do you truely sound miserable.

I'd say the same for Bal, Aqua & Lagger....

Love isn't a sore topic...it's something a bunch of GUYS are talking about in the INTERNET. Obviously it's going to sound lame, especially if it's real.

Quote :

I've heard that people tend to fall in love with falling in love. They want the feeling of being in love rather than the person behind the feeling. Think of it this way: once you admit that another person is causing a feeling as strong as love, then you have to admit that the feeling can be taken away and that it is essentially out of your hands. Thus, people fall in love with the feeling because the feeling truly emanates from the self, not the other.

Like Romeo in Romeo & Juliet.

Well, I'm not actually miserable and I do have hope for the future. I just thought it was funny to phrase it that way, but apparently not.

diaster wrote:

What is love? baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Love is the instinct to mate with and protect your partner to help ensure your genes survival.

Screw you. I was just about to post that, but then I figured that someone else had already said it, so I made sure, and you did,

Love is the affection between two people, (or multiple, but that sound wrong). Love, I think, is caused by mutual interests/personalities*, or, sometimes, even opposite interests/*personalities. Sometimes, the huge differences between two people is what makes them love each even more.

And some more stuff I don't really care to write.


*I cannot remember the word, sorry. (EDIT)